Goodbye to You
by MariCareBear
Summary: Amy and Ephram part ways to go to seperate colleges. Amy's thoughts about this, set to Michelle Branch's goodbye to you.


_Italics are flashaback..._Regular is set in Amy's first week of college. Also I don't own Everwood or Michelle Branch's Good-bye to you.

**Of all the things I've believed in**

**I just want to get it over with**

She'd actually believed that they would go to the same college, was it really so naive to want to go to the same college as the boyfriend that she'd been in love with for longer than she even knew. Amy hadn't thought so. Ephram had. Her parents had. Andy had. And with all the pressure that was being put on the long distance of Ephram going to Juliard and Amy to Princeton Ephram had stated that maybe they needed to talk about their relationship.

Amy hadn't let Ephram say anything before she stated, "I think we should break up." It wasn't what she wanted, but as everyone kept telling her it was inevitable, right?

**Tears form behind my eyes**

**But I do not cry**

**Counting the days that pass me by**

She'd refused to cry at first. Which for Amy was definitely something new. But what right did she have to cry? She had been the one who had said for them to end it in the first place, to avoid being hurt. But immediately after the shock of breaking up with Ephram, and ending the best relationship she'd ever had, Amy hadn't been able wait for the summer to end so that she could just leave. Leave the town she had grown up in. Leave the family who had been apologetic over the break-up, but secretly thrilled that the all too serious relationship was over. And mostly leave the town that had cost her so much.

**I've been searching deep down in my soul**

When the summer had ended she was more than ready to leave. She never thought she'd outgrown the small town she'd grown up in. She'd always assumed that she would go to college and then come back to Everwood, just like her father had done. But now she knew that she'd never be able to go back there. When she lost Colin it was like losing her childhood, that's what he represented in her life and two years ago she had lost that forever. But Everwood would always make Amy think of Ephram, she didn't understand why. She'd grown up with Colin in Everwood, but now sitting in her dorm room when she closed her eyes and envisioned Everwood Ephram's first day always sprang to mind, and when she opened her eyes there were tears there.

**Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old**

"Princeton is the right place for you." How many times had people told Amy that when she'd been preparing to leave. Everyone had told her that as she'd prepared to leave for college, but Ephram was the one that had caused Amy to break down in tears after they'd parted their ways. But at that moment when they had come out of Ephram's mouth Amy had wanted to hit him. Hit him for saying the words that she knew was true, even though every part of her wanted to be with him and he just didn't seem to care.

**Feels like I'm starting all over again**

**The last three years were just pretend**

Amy stares around her dorm room, her roommate had yet to get there which she was perfectly happy about. It gave her time to think things over. She still, two months later, felt like a piece of her was missing. Ephram had been most of her world for almost three years, granted there had been some interruptions in their friendship but for the most part Ephram had been her support system. Now what did she have? A new life, across the country that made her feel like her old one had never existed.

**I still get lost in your eyes**

**And it seems that I can't live a day without you**

Picking up the one thing she had unpacked Amy stares at the picture of her and Ephram that she couldn't bare to part with. Not until she'd completely adjusted to not having Ephram with her all the time. It didn't matter that she knew it was over she still needed to see Ephram everyday.

**Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away**

**To a place where I am blinded by the light**

Amy closes her eyes again, trying to force away the threatening tears as her mind turns to when that picture had been taken. _It was the day before graduation and Amy could still remember how blissfully calm they felt because they knew that they would have each other when their lives changed. They would go off to different colleges but still be able to be them, Ephram and Amy. Nothing could change who they are, they'd be together forever because that's how they had wanted it._

**But it's not right**

They'd both been naive at that moment in time. A naivete that hadn't last much more than two weeks after the day that picture had been taken.

**Ooh, And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time**

**I want what's yours and I want what's mine**

**I want you but I'm not giving in this time**

Amy had never completely realized that it was possible to completely want to completely different things at the same time. She wanted to be with Ephram, and make a go out of the long distance thing, but she knew that there was nothing right about that. This was right, they both needed to go out into the world and experience life without going to separate colleges. And as many times as her heart had tried to convince her to pick up the phone and call, and for the first time in three years Amy head refuses to give into her heart.

**And I said,**

**Goodbye to you**

"So," Ephram clears his throat nervously, he and Amy had avoided each other since their break-up in June, but now it was August and time for them to head off to their respective colleges.

"So um..." Amy trails, she can't be the first one to say it, but she knows Ephram can't either so after a long silence she gives in. "Good-bye Ephram."

**Goodbye to everything I thought I knew**

**You were the one I loved**

**The one thing that I tried to hold on to**

It had taken Ephram 30 seconds to walk away from her porch and house after he mimicked her words and it had taken Amy 35 seconds to collapse into sobs on her knees. Ephram was walking away from her for the last time, every part of her knew that there was nothing left for her or Ephram. They were over, completely and totally. He had been her rock. But how had he put it into the essay he'd turned in as her's to Princeton? Oh right. Rocks break. Everything changes even when you think you're sure. And every single word of that was true, she'd tried for so long to hold onto Ephram but in a moment of clarity she'd known it was over. Whether she wanted it or not.


End file.
